To The One That Holds My Heart

To The One That Holds My Heart
This is for you, the one that never let me go......., I'm sorry for not being the perfect boyfriend and for having as many inperfections that I do. I'm sorry for changing and for pushing you away. I have come to a point in my life and a realization that made me rethink and open my eyes once again. I know that lately things have been hell, granted, I have treasured every minute of the ride, I just know it all could be better. I'm sorry for pushing you away at times and thinking I could go on without you, but I know I have lied to myself, I know I put my defenses up and I know that doing this has caused problems with us, with our hearts and who we are.It took a nightmare to realize everything I have caused, all the hurt, the mind games, the damage and the walls I have put up to take care of my heart. I know I'm not perfect, I've realized that, but I also realize that there isn't a waking moment I dont want to spend with you, that there isn't a day that goes by and I dont want to be with you. Maybe it's about time I get scared this much and realize how devoted you are to me and everything you do just for me, everything you do in your life is for us. I have done everything in my life lately, just for me because I had this shell around me, I didn't want to risk getting hurt.I apologize, I know that isn't much but with the days you will realize how truly sorry I am for everything I have caused. You have done nothing more than held on to me loved me and been honest, if I were in your shoes, I would have let go, and for not letting go and not giving up I'm eternally greatful. I know at times it seems like the worlds end when I cant spend time with you, believe it, it's hell, and everytime I see people happy, holding on to eachother it makes me realize how much I really do need you. I have gone days and days thinking maybe thinks would be better off not having you, but in the end, I realize I need you, I need you more than anything I've ever needed in my life. You are the only person that brings sense into me and the only one who really opens my eyes. I've cried a million tears trying to figure out the best way to tell you all this but here it is. It's finally all out, the cold hard truth, I cant live one more day without having you, I need you, I miss you more than anything in this world, I just wish the distance wasn't an obstacle, but it is, and I am handling it the best I know how. The one way I have been able to see all this clearly, is knowing that when I see you, it'll be the best day in my life, be able to be open and honest with you about my feelings, how I've been feeling and everything that is in store for us in the years to come.Yesterday was our Monthly anniversary, a long time you might say, it's only the beginning, the beginning of all the changes I'm going through, I beginning to all the old times, and the beginning of showing you what you really mean to me and how much I treasure you. Again I'm sorry for not being the perfect one, but people do learn from their mistkaes, I'm just hoping you wont let go of me. Changes there will be, in more ways than you think....I am devoting my every day, every minute, every second to you. You are the one that holds my heart, the one that bring sense into me, the one that never gave up on my when everything came crashing down on me. I miss you like hell ...., these past months have been hell, not being able to hold you, looking into your eyes, telling you what I feel so you can see me, they have torn me apart. That's the only thing I wish I could do, hold on to you, hug you, kiss you, be with you. But everytime I wake up, I feel you everywhere, with "babies" with pictures, reminders that you're still there, but it isnt the same.To a new beginning my love, to changes, and to the future, to us. I cant wait till that day I spend the rest of my life with you. I just wish it would come sooner at times, but nothing is worth it, if it isn't worth the wait, and believe me I will wait as long as you want, you're worth it, everything you do for me is worth it, and everything you have done is worth it, so it's my turn to treasure you and treasure the wait, because when it gets here, it'll be the beginning of the best days in our lives.I have grown a lot and I hope you've been able to feel it or see it. I wish you were here so I could hug you, but every day is filled with memories of you, and us, and that gets me by. I miss you pain, I miss you more and more each day, and I realize that I dont want to go on another day, if it's not with you in my life or by my side.Heres to a new beginning in our realtionship, a new beginning with us, I just hope I wasn't too late.....It's better late than never, and the time is now, today, and forever. I love you with all my heart, with my soul, my mind and everything that makes me.

By: $ergio Arjona.